I think I give off a vibe of “You’re doing it wrong.” I have to consciously make an effort to not jump into projects that others are working on without being asked for help. It’s not that I think I can do everything better, I just notice little things that can help streamline processes and I have a desire to maximize results. I have a wide range of talents. Chalk it up to undiagnosed ADD if you want. I’ve just always had a desire to learn as much as I can about as many things as I can. I also have a tendency to jump to the next thing that comes along, often before I’ve finished what I was already working on.
I don’t share this to make myself look good. A number of people have told others about my diversified talents in front of me, and I usually feel awkward and brush it off as nothing.
Now I know, that may sound incredibly arrogant, but that is not my intention. I realized last night that I am the one doing it wrong. I spent much of yesterday working through a timeline of where I thought things may have been missing the mark in our church. Let me say here that I don’t think anything is truly wrong, and I know the leadership of the church is on track with the vision that God has placed on their hearts. I had a sense that something was amiss, but I could not put it into words. That’s where the timeline came in, because that’s the only thing I could make sense of. The problem is that I was doing it wrong.
The Heart of The Problem
I was projecting my own spiritual temperature on the church. What I thought I saw out-of-place in the church was actually just a reflection of what has been out-of-place in my own life. My mind is constantly running. I’ve been in a whirlwind of thoughts, emotions, and busyness that has left me exhausted on a number of levels. It’s enough to make anyones head spin. In the process of trying to handle everything myself, I let the most important thing in my life fall by the wayside. Jesus has not gotten any of my attention. Sure, I worship Him on the weekends and encourage others to put their trust in Him, but I put no effort into my own relationship with Him.
I know He has never left my side. Otherwise I would have imploded a long time ago. I know He has not been standing over my shoulder thinking to Himself, “You’re doing it wrong.” That’s not His style. He is full of grace and mercy and unfailing love. And so I am not returning to my first love. Jesus. I may not be in a position to simplify my life right now, but I can simplify my focus and look to Him first.
I had a couple of conversations yesterday about Kingdom mindset versus having a programmatic mindset. Those conversations were meant to be about what we do as a church, but again, I was projecting. I need to have a Kingdom mindset in everything I do. I quote Matthew 6:33 all the time, but I need to apply it to my own life.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
Fixing The Problem
The message at church this past weekend was simply Jesus. “I Am The Bread of Life,” (John 6). I have a renewed hunger for Jesus in my heart that has been welling up for some time now. My soul has been growling for The Bread of Life and I’ve been trying to keep the hunger pains away with nothing more than junk food. Jesus is the only way to satisfy that deep hunger. Simply Jesus.
So how do I put this into practice? How can I have the attitude of “Give me Jesus, give me Jesus. You can have all this world, but give me Jesus,” in my daily life?
The following idea is not an original idea of mine, but I cannot get it out of my head (Thanks Mark Batterson). Every day at 7:14 (am and pm), I am going to spend some time in prayer. 7:14 comes from 2 Chronicles 7:14 as a reminder to pray.
“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
Feel free to join me during those times wherever you are. I plan to do this at Crossroads Church – Boyce Road on Sundays at 7:14am and pm. Those times are open to anyone who would like to join me in prayer.