Early in high school, when I was just learning how to play guitar, my youth pastor brought in a guy he knew to lead worship. I actually attribute a lot of what I learned about worship leading to him. He helped us grow as musicians and worship leaders simply by being there. It’s hard to explain, but there was something about the way he carried himself and how he related to us. We lost touch over the years, but I’m pretty sure he’s still doing student ministry and music to some extent.
There’s a song he wrote that we used to sing all the time at youth group. If you grew up in the greater Pittsburgh area, going to Laurelville with PYN (now PKF) in the 90’s, you’d likely recognize the song. You might even have the tune ringing in your mind after reading the title of this post. I recently sang it in one of my Wednesday worship sets (looking back, I wish I double checked the focus). So many memories come to mind when I sing it.
Change
The chorus of the song goes like this:
Change occurs out from the heart within
I reach out, let holy change begin
Change is really hard for most people. And those who say it’s easy are probably lying. And to varying degrees, most people avoid change and very few look forward to it. Depending on the context, I either buck against the slightest change or embrace it. And I often push others to accept and/or embrace change.
But this post is more about taking a step of faith than making changes.
The second verse of “Change” starts like this:
Seeking out who pruned the vine
Counting times I’ve trusted blind
Maybe once, maybe twice, maybe again
Stepping off into the air
The freshest seed sown among tears
The line, “Stepping off into the air,” has been resonating in my thoughts over the past month or so. I’ve been building up to the moment of taking a particular step for a long time though. My worship leading journey started over 28 years ago. I was in a coffee shop rock band 20 years ago. I’ve been to songwriting retreats, worship conferences, writing workshops, and a slew of other events that all play a part in preparing me to take this step. If you’re getting nervous about what you might read next, don’t be. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m not moving or changing jobs or anything like that. But I am starting something new.
Writing Again
Many of you know that I’ve started writing again. The catalyst that kick me back into gear was realizing I was stuck in a cycle of complacency, hypocrisy, and apathy. I didn’t want to be like that, so I started writing about it. Those words turned into a song. I first sang it for a small group of men in my living room one morning. It wasn’t finished yet, but it struck a chord with them in a way I didn’t expect.
I shelved the song for a while until I decided to share it with a friends over lunch. The next time I saw him was at a songwriting workshop with Brian Doerksen (he wrote songs like “Come Now Is The Time To Worship” and “Refiner’s Fire” as well as many others). I didn’t expect to have an opportunity to share anything there; I was simply going to try to learn something. Brian asked for three people to share an unpublished song and after two people volunteered, my friend locked eyes with me encouraged me in his own way to share the song (even though it was still unfinished). After singing it, I was affirmed in ways that were completely unexpected.
Affirmation Again
Some time later, at a men’s camp in the mountains, I finished the song and shared it before my teaching session. It was once again well received and I finally felt like God was trying to tell me I should be practicing this gift that He’s given me, but I didn’t put much more effort into writing. Months later, while sitting in my office on a random day and getting ready to leave for the day, I decided to look at what the Bible verse of the day was. About ten minutes later, I had written a song based on Psalm 19.
I shared the chorus the last time I was up to preach because it tied into the sermon, and we’ve sung it in church a few times since then as well. I’ve led songs that I’ve written in the past, but something is different this time. I didn’t want any recognition for the song. If the congregation grabbed ahold of it, then I figured I’d put it in the regular rotation of songs that I lead. If not, it wouldn’t bother me and it would just become one of the songs that I worship with in my personal time with God. Pastor Bob pointed out that I wrote it though, and the response has been almost overwhelming.
Taking A Step
That leads me to this step that I’m taking. I published a song in 2020. I’ve learned a lot since then. I wanted to publish this new song (and eventually the song from men’s camp and a handful of others that are just waiting in my greenhouse). But more than that, I want to help other songwriters publish their music as well. Psalm 19:14 has played such a huge roll in shifting my attitude. Writing about the cycle I was stuck in was therapeutic in a way, but real healing came when I started applying that verse:
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Psalm 19:14 (LSB)
Be acceptable in Your sight, O Yahweh, my rock and my Redeemer.
So, I decided to start a record label. It’s not the best business venture in a world where recording and self publishing has become easy to do. But the things God calls us to don’t always make sense from the world’s point of view. The day after I filed for an LLC with the state, I connected with another songwriter in our church who has a handful of songs ready to be published. So, 19.14 Music is now working with an artist other than myself to produce and publish music. And none of it is about making money or getting any kind of fame. We simply want to make music that glorifies God, and make it available to as many people as possible.
Into The Air
I submitted “My Redeeming God” to my distributor last night, and it should be available soon anywhere you stream music (it took about a week to hit all the streaming platforms last time). I’ve also started recording the guitar tracks for the other songwriter (I’ll eventually let you know who it is), and my goal it to have her debut album available in the next month or so.
I’m excited. And it’s not just because I’m doing something new (although that probably does play a part in my excitement). I’m excited that I exercising my gifts in a new way that will bring glory to God and bless Him. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing in Your sight… You’re my redeeming God.
If you’d like to support me in this endeavor and help me make more music available, consider becoming a patreon subscriber.
“Change” was written by my friend, Ramsey Longaker.