The minute I’m actually awake and not just hitting the snooze button again, my mind starts running.  For the past five minutes, I’ve been sitting in silence but it hasn’t felt quiet because of everything running through my mind.  Going a mile a minute, here are some of the things that flew through my mind in those few moments: what songs should I do as I lead worship this morning at our staff meeting, why have I started so many projects around the house and not finished them, my wife has had a couple rough mornings in a row, how can I make her day better, I’ve gotta pick out clothes for the kids, what do I give them for breakfast, how much time do I really have before I have to leave, I wonder how many people visited my blog yesterday even though I didn’t post anything new, I want to write today but I don’t know what about, how have I been showing my love to my kids, how long has it been since I read Scripture on my own, when should I wake up the kids so I’m not late, I still need to make the PowerPoint for this morning, why can’t I clear my mind, I have so much to do today.

Some times I just want it all to stop.  I want to sit in silence and think only about my Creator.  Actually waking up early enough to have a moment of silence when I am not running around trying to get stuff done does not happen very often.  Being able to do that today, I have realized that my spiritual focus is more like waking up and not being able to find my glasses.  There is just a fog.  Sure I can pick some good songs to sing and lead people in worship, but singing worship is only a small part of what my relationship with God should be.  Maybe next time I am sitting quietly in the morning, I won’t be as distracted by the thousand things on my mind and I’ll hear something on my heart instead.  I’m praying that I recognize the next time that God gives me the opportunity to sit in silence with Him.  If it’s tomorrow morning, I’m hoping I can wake up without the continual snooze again.