I’ve heard it said that honor is given and respect is earned, but how do you earn respect? A good start is to show respect and give it to others. Trying to earn respect any other way can become a cycle of proving yourself time and time again.
If you look at a career path, you might notice a bell curve regarding the difficulty of earning respect. Early in career development, earning respect can be as simple as keeping up with your job. If you can manage to accomplish all of your tasks, you earn the respect of your direct reports.
As you progress into more responsibilities and positions of leadership, respect becomes more difficult to earn. You have to earn the respect of the people who you now lead when they can seem more like peers to you. To earn respect from your boss, you have to lead well and have a team that is accomplishing much as well as continue to prove yourself. It takes a lot more for someone in middle management to earn respect than an entry-level employee.
When you move into greater roles of leadership, your respect has been earned for the most part. The people you lead respect you because they know you have worked to get where you are. Anyone who is still above you respects you enough to recognize that you are qualified to hold the position you have.
I know that no matter where you are in your career, respect feels like it is hard to earn. My perspective is skewed based on where I am right now, in between entry-level and middle management. I can’t tell you whether or not I have earned respect from everyone in leadership above me. I know that I still feel like I have to prove myself though, and that is a problem with myself that I am beginning to recognize.
Trying to prove myself is not going to earn respect for two reasons:
- I will fail. Sometimes big, sometimes small. Sometimes rarely and sometimes often. The fact is that I am not perfect, so I will mess up.
- I am not respectful. If my focus is on proving myself or impressing my boss, I am not going to be showing the respect that I need to show to my leadership. I cannot expect respect if I am not respectful.
As I was listening to podcasts in the car today, there was one thing I heard that really stood out to me. It applies directly to this idea of showing respect, but also translates into so many other areas of life. In his sermon this past weekend, Pastor Mark Driscoll talked briefly about how to respond when something makes you angry.
What brings the most glory to God?
Does my opinion about something bring glory to God or does it bring about quarreling? Does that comment I want to make bring the most glory to God or should I just keep my mouth shut? Do my actions glorify God or myself? It’s a simple question that I too often overlook. Is the conversation that my friends are engaging in uplifting and glorifying to God, or are they crude and degrading?
In the arena of respect, if it brings the most glory to God, it will most likely show the most respect to others as well.