I remain confident of this
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
Psalm 27:13-14 NIV
Am I being patient? I have not learned to wait on the LORD. I have an idea of what my general calling is, but am still trying to discern my specific calling. Any time I’ve had an idea of what my specific calling might be, I’ve chased after it instead of being still and waiting on God. I have a burning desire inside of me to do certain things in ministry, but when I try to quench those desire I tend to get stuck and fall back to where I was before.
I need to learn to stop and listen before acting. Just because God has put a desire in my heart does not mean it is the right time to act on that desire. I am beginning to find contentment in the place where I am right now. It wasn’t long ago that I was looking for any possible way to move on from it. While my desires have not been quenched, I have noticed that they have changed slightly over the past few years. I don’t know if that is a result of failing so many times before or a thread of maturity, but I do know that my desires seem to burn differently now.
Learning to wait is difficult. I think that any time I get tired of waiting, I end up having to wait even longer. My life is like a kid learning to fish. I wait for a while, and when I don’t catch anything, I reel in the line and cast again. Eventually my cast get closer together until I’m no longer waiting at all. As the day comes to a close, I have yet to catch a fish, but I’ll be back the next day and the next.
How long must I wait? At least as long as it takes me to hear. Maybe I should be learning to listen instead of learning to wait.