My wife and I are acting on where we feel God is leading us. It was a decision that we did not take lightly. The nudging would not go away. We prayed long and hard about it. We sought wise counsel and second and third opinions. It’s a giant leap of faith for us, specifically financially, but we felt at peace.
Even with that sense of peace, there is still a fear of the unknown for me. That fear has kept the door cracked open for doubt to creep in. That doubt has given the enemy a place to dig and pry at to make me second guess our decision. It’s crazy how a little bit of doubt can be magnified by stresses at work, vehicle issues, higher bills in the winter, and communication breakdowns.
This doubt is something that I have been struggling with over the past two weeks. It started just one week after we made the commitment to move forward to where we feel God is leading us. I spoke with a trusted friend and unofficial mentor of mine last night about my doubts and fears. I explained the process we went through of making this decision.
His response was reassuring, yet still a little scary. While he doesn’t believe we are mishearing God, there’s a chance that we will struggle for a time. Elise might have to go back to work after only a few months. These possibilities do not mean that we were headed the wrong direction. It’s possible that God is leading us in this direction to protect us and/or our family from something unforeseen. Maybe God wants to do something in our lives that we need to allow space for, and this is the only way to accomplish that space. Whatever it may be, it is in His timing.
I was listening to Steven Furtick’s sermon from this past weekend, and he said something that I’ve been hearing in other sermons lately as well. The context is the Shunammite woman of 2 Kings 4:8-37 who made a room for Elisha.
You can’t make God move in your life, but you can make room for God to move in your life.
– Steven Furtick
We are making room. We don’t know how God will move. We don’t know how long this season will be. We don’t know if God will provide the finances we need to continue in this season of our walk with Him. What we do know is that He can. Just like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said in Daniel 3:17-18, we know that God can provide. But even if He does not provide, we will follow His leading rather than living a life that the world tries to dictate to us.
If you look at Hebrews 11, you’ll notice a chapter filled mostly with heroes of the Bible; people who accomplished much for The Kingdom of God. But the story changes half way through verse 35:
Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.
I don’t know where we fit into God’s story yet, but I know He has prepared something better than anything I can receive or accomplish in this world.