I remember when I was a student ministry intern, I was told that email should be used for information only. Any other discussion should be face to face or phone call at the very least. Text messages should also be for information purposes only. I have followed those simple rules for the most part, but sometimes I don’t know if I can emotionally handle a face to face conversation. I can be a bit of a crier when emotions get the best of me. There’s usually not tears, but my throat gets all dry and I can’t really get any words out. Those kinds of conversations tend to be few and far between, but when I know I have to have one I tend to put it off for as long as I possibly can.
I think that might be why those conversations are so difficult. If I would start conversations as soon as I notice an issue arising, they would probably be a lot easier for me. If I’m on the other end of one of those conversations, I try to initiate it as soon as possible because I know what it’s like to be on the end that draws more from emotion. If you’re wondering what these conversations are about, they can be about anything from productivity to monetary compensation or disciplinary action to job changes.
When I know I am going to be involved in a conversation with a boss that is going to draw from my emotional bank, sometimes I just want to hold the conversation over email. It’s a lot easier for me to disconnect from the emotions of a situation when I write then when I have to speak or listen to someone face to face. Over the past year I have learned that I enjoy writing in general, so it comes easier than real conversation.
Since I’ve tried to restrict email to information transfer, I tend to write my thoughts out in an email and make myself available for face to face conversation. This way, whoever I am to have the conversation with is aware of my thoughts before I lose my ability to speak, and the conversations tend to be a lot easier for me as I mostly listen to their response. I’m not sure how this method would work in the corporate world but it seems to be working for me as I work at a church, and I will probably continue to use it until it either no longer works or I am told that it is not a good practice.